Whats Love got to do with it?

I have learned that to love is to be open and not placing any expectations or demands on your mate. I use to feel that in order for me to love I had to get the same love in return. I've realized that nobody is perfect including myself, but when you truly love someone they will always be worth it without a doubt. The best way to love is to communicate openly and honestly with each other, forgive and move on together! Love means complete balance , I believe that you will always love someone but the level of love changes, if it was true and real,to  love there must be forgiveness and the willingness to let go of fear , doubt and   the past pain that brought you to that dark insecure place. The mind , heart , body , spirit and soul was made to heal but you have to willing to invite it in. You can not heal without total release of the old to make way for the new.  Yes, true love begins from within oneself and Yes it can also hurt but then if you have the chance to look back you can truly appreciate all that you have learned and are willing to learn to act upon it honestly and truthfully.

Time 4 Sum ACTION

Whats up peops, its a new year and one of my resolutions was to blog more. I had a good year for the most part. A few lessons learned: Pay your BG&E bills, Drink water, Dont go half on a car or a baby, enjoy the summer months, Dont be cheap when it comes to drinking, work hard, play harder, dont sweat the small stuff, stick to your guns, everything always works out. One thing I need to work on is being a man of action, not a talker but a doer. I left alot of money on the table last year and that burns my tail. I learned finally that if I want something, its just easy to go and get it, make a plan, stick to the plan, execute the plan. My old track coach use to say " You gotta put it in the bank Monk" I have to stop being so sensitive. Everybody isn't a bleeding heart like me. As far as I'm concerned I need to be more selfish. I tend to give way more energy then I receive from people. To find that balance is very hard and I always find myself on the bottom end of the see-saw. I have come up with a plan to stay off the see-saw. not involve myself in my friends personal affairs. Its gonna be hard but we shall see.

It’s all about love. Most people don’t even have a true definition of the word love, most people use it as a noun when. Love is action, love is a verb. I use to think I knew what love was until I had a kid. If my kid is hurt or in pain, I would easily give my life for him. When he was much younger and I would pick him up from daycare and he would run and jump into my arms and give me the biggest hug his little arms could muster, that was love being a verb. I can’t say that about most of the people who I have claimed to love. I thought I was in love with my HS sweetheart until I went to the roller-skating rink with Jeff and Greg on Friday night and met a cuter flyer version of Sherry. I thought I was in love with my non-giving it up college freshman sweetheart until I met Ms Sophomore with a car and a spot of campus. Most of what I though was love was just in the meantime. I mean don’t get me wrong I have had girlfriends who I have had a total affection for and would do all most anything but I’m not so convinced that equals love. To love someone is to see them totally happy even if it isn’t with you. To love someone is to love yourself. How am I going to love someone else if I don’t love myself? Love is growth. Love is understanding. When you truly love someone you have to be willing to compromise, you have to able to be forgiving. Love is as love does, when we are loving we are strong, committed, caring , respectful and trusting. Most people are scared of love because love involves risks, fear of the unknown or even worse fear of the know . Fear of that one bad relationship. I will go as far as too say there is no such thing as a bad relationship. Yep I said it, every relationship is a complete learning experience not a bad one but a learning one.

Its Bigger Than Hip-Hop

As a child, I grew up listening to rap music and was influenced by hip hop culture. There was a “golden age”, in hip hop that highlighted positive aspects of African American culture during the late 80’s and early 1990’s. This “conscious” hip hop movement sparked an interest within me to learn more about African American history. It was hip and cool, during that time to dress in a style that showcased Black pride. So, it was with no hesitation, that I allowed, even encouraged, my son to listen to rap and watch music videos. Within weeks, I noticed he adapted a vocabulary that included slang and some disrespectful words. He was also wearing over-sized jeans so low that his underwear was showing. Being the parent of a teenager, I thought I was pretty knowledgeable, about the popular music that kids listen to. Through this experience with my son, I soon became aware of a negative downturn within rap and hip hop that is alarming.

This downturn caused me to monitor and somewhat censor my son’s exposure to hip hop. Thing’s were progressing quite well, no hip hop, no negativity in our lives. So I thought. I was totally oblivious to the fact that his environment may have influenced his change in behavior, not just the music. My son and I live in Park Heights, Baltimore City. A neighborhood engrossed in drug abuse and crime. Not to mention, there is a tremendous amount of crime in neighborhoods across the country, ranging from the inner city to the suburbs. Rap and hip hop exhibit this reality, the music is a reflection of the world we live in. The artists present the truth of life in the turbulent inner cities in America. Realism is definitely elevated through rap and hip hop. Rap and hip hop music is not destroying our communities and the futures of our children. We as a society continue to allow our communities to fail, become overrun with drugs, violence and poverty, and neglect the needs of our children. I, along with others in the community, must be held accountable to ensure the success of our children.

My son and I sat down and listened to various types of rap and hip hop music. We had to balance out the negative with the positive. Unfortunately, I will never be able to totally shield him from the ills of this society. Nor, do I have to constantly expose him to lyrics filed with profanity and tales of misdeeds and violence, in an effort to be “cool” amongst his peers. I have to explain to my child, that this society has many problems. We have to persevere, succeed, and simply just try to give back to our troubled youth, hoping that this will have a positive impact on our community.

Placing the blame on rap and hip hop in regards to my son’s behavior, was an excuse I made, it was an easy way out. I took this route overlooking the fact that I needed to dig deeper into other factors that may have had an influence on his behavior. Parents and concerned citizens don’t necessarily have to totally cease all rap and hip hop from our children’s listening pleasure to counteract the problems. We must expose our children to those artists who are still “cool”, but positive and uplifting. Will Smith, Queen Latifah, and Common, are just a few names in hip hop culture, whose music surpasses negativity. Consumers have to ensure through our monetary purchases, that we support these artists. The public must demand that radio and television stations play more constructive and positive music.

The problem is “bigger than hip hop”. I use that phrase from the lyrics of a song by rap group “Dead Prez”. The lyrics tell a story of lives destroyed by depravation, violence, drug abuse and injustice suffered by minority youth in the inner cities. Sadly, sometimes it’s an endless cycle that continues from generation to generation. Hip hop and rap music give a “voice” for those trapped in the ghetto, in the cycle, to tell their plight to mainstream America. This “voice” helped to open a dialogue between my son and I . Hip hop and rap music is also the “voice” of young urban America, one that needs to be heard, and listened to, not silenced or censored.

Give it a Rest Guys

Hello Friends!

Those folks on the far right are starting early with the nonsense to discredit anything President Obama does. Be prepared to be saturated with all types of malarkey with the election season heating up. All of you know my deep love and appreciation for all things related to Hip Hop culture. So, It's quite alarming, to see "them" try to label one of the most positive and conscious hip hop artists a "gangster" rapper? This is totally false and Common's lyrics have been misconstrued by those trying to use his visit to the White House as ploy to stir up unnecessary and unwarranted controversy. So Sarah Palin STFU! I've attached some links regarding this issue for your reading and viewing pleasure.

Peace!

http://m.thegrio.com/politics/why-the-right-wants-to-remind-america-obama-is-black.php

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/12/jon-stewart-fox-news-common-outrage_n_860956.html

Come on Man!

Will they ever just leave Donovan alone? I am all for criticism regarding his on the field play, but I truly believe the recent comments made by Bernard Hopkins are unjustly warranted. Donovan exemplifies strong character and handles his numerous critics with dignity and class. He is the epitome of the definition of a role model. I have a great appreciation for Bernard Hopkins as well. For one, he is my Philly brethren! B-Hop's focus and determination after prison put him on the track to successful boxing career, a middleweight champion. His story of redemption is one that resonates well with inner city youth. That's why it's crucial Hopkins' remarks don't sway urban youth into thinking that obtaining "privilege" or being raised in a non-urban environment makes you a sell out. If you haven't already, please read the entire statement released by McNabb's agent. It's the 2nd link I've attached. It perfectly summarizes why we can't allow these classicism stereotypes to continue to divide our community. Have a great weekend!

Peace !

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/thehuddle/post/2011/05/bernard-hopkins-says-donovan-mcnabb-isnt-black-enough/1?csp=34sports

http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/inq-eagles/McNabbs-agent-responds-to-Hopkins.html

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ycn-8459431

Lead Paint Diss

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2011-04-05/health/bs-md-lead-paint-mayor-20110404_1_housing-authority-paul-t-graziano-public-housing/2

Old Dirty Bastard put it best, Wu-Tang is for the kids. I guess our Mayor wasn't an ODB fan. From how I see it, its not the kids fault they got lead paint poisoning, Im not even sure you could do my favorite thing and put all the blame on the parents. The courts even felt that Baltimore City was at fault and awarded people money. The city has money to pay city workers who gamble on the clock, they pay convicted felons who are still in jail, they have money for a Grand Prix race and you cant pay the kids? As much as my water bill is, that is at least paying for three or four families easy not the mention my BG&E bill. Dont they realize that Baltimore is a predominately black city and maybe just maybe some of these kids you are turning your back on are our future leaders. I'm willing to bet there are some future Ben Carson's and Kwesi Mfume's out there. Most of the kids in this situation are already starting out at the bottom of the ninth with two strikes and two outs. I'm not politician but it seems like I would find some way to invest in our children. As my son would say....IJS

What is your Love Language

This question was posed to me the other day and I thought I knew the answer but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I was clueless. One of my hardest task is being truthful with myself about myself. The way I love is balls to the wall ( no pun intended), I love like I drink beer, in excess. I have a very addictive nature so I need to be very careful with my movements. With all that being said I demand alot from others, its what you sign up for but at the same time Im willing to give it. I give myself a rate of 6.5, im passing but there is room for improvement. Most of my married friends tell me that their spouse is their confidant and best friend. One of the most important lessons I've had to learn is not to be so selfish, everything is a compromise, the world dosent revolve around just me anymore. As a person who tends to be private about my personal affairs it becomes a problem when now I have to be honest and open with my soul mate, she deserves that right? Its all about building that foundation, one block at a time, My relationship now is a sum total of all my past relationships, I'm finally learning to accept responsibility for my faults and learn from them. Its taking some time but i finally think im getting the hang of it. A.J. is extremely lucky!

Murdermore, Harmcity, The city that Bleeds, Cherrykill.I could go on and on. Somebody is getting shot, stabbed or beat it seems like everyday here in Baltimore. I use to think we were getting a bad rap and the media only portrays the worst but now it seems like they are just doing their job. Bad ass babies grow up to be bad ass kids who grow up to be bad ass teenagers who grow up to be bad ass grown ups. Am I the only one who see's the need to break the cycle at the roots? The city is under financial stress but what city isnt,thats no excuse. Stop blaming the youth, they had to learn it from somewhere right? My man JO swears that behavior in ingrained from birth, we fight tooth and nail about this, I feel like behavior is learned from the people you surround yourself with. Who do the youth surround themselves with? Well in the very beginning its the parents right? Where do they learn that its cool to buck authority? Where do they learn its cool to beat the system. Im sure there are many valid reasons why us grown ups think this but we have to break the cycle somewhere right?

My life my life

The year is over and most of my surroundings have changed. Ma Dukes always told me change is good and what dosent kill you makes you stronger and blah blah blah. The boy is officially in HS and that is a whole "nutha" blog. My living situation has changed and has the potential to change again. I have learned to minimize the things I cant control and not let them stress me. Ive learned to remember the things that didnt work for me in the past and try not to repeat them. Ive learned that every plans, plan needs a back up plan. Ive also learned to buy a case of beer instead of 6 packs, fill your gas tank up instead of 5 dollars here, 10 dollars there, in some cases .50 on pump 1. The theme for this year is to save money, I have plenty of snowboarding to do this winter and a trip to Barbados this summer. Balancing finances is similar to putting a puzzle together, its super hard at first but once you get the base down it becomes easier and easier, to not live paycheck to paycheck is the ultimate goal. I have several people in my corner to guide and assist in this department. (thanks guys). Ive surrounded myself with a crew of smart progressive inspiring, motivating goal oriented people. It might sound a bit planned and calculated but somehow it seemed to work out like that to my benefit. My worst fear for the future is to be broke. In order for that not to happen I have to move in slow calculated methodical movements. Are you guys ready for the new improved 2011 Scootermonk?

So once again here I am keyboard in my hand speaking to my people, things have been mad hectic in the life and times of Scootermonk, the world is changing so ima let it change and just ride the wave and see where I end up. The most high has been guiding me in the right direction. A mustard seed of faith is all you need right? Be careful on that edge before you fall. Its seems like I can't please err'body and vice versa. The things I need to work on are the same things that are being done to me. I am the biggest believer in karma so I try to live my life accordingly, it dosent always work out but its what my mouth says. Ive been able to see how living right has its advantages because I give with my heart and I give with soul, some people might not see it but thats what I strive to do. My intentions are always golden even if the resuls arent. My life isnt an illusion, The times are only in my mind. No matter how hard I try to be (no pun) Im a hopeless romamtic (arent we all?)But when the Spidey sense starts tingling and and things dont seem right, I have questions and those questions need answers. I have high dreams and aspirations dont you? I often shoot for the high heavens and only reach the nets at the bottom of the rim but hey, call me Jumping Jack Ass. I have often been told I have a twisted sence, cents, since of reality but it seems to work for me.

Its Tha Same As It Ever Was

YO - Its been A long time I shouldn't have left you, without an ill blog to read to. Due to overwhelming response from my ever-loving fans....It feels good to be back. Lets start with the reasons for the hiatus. Changed jobs, addresses and friends. I spent so much time trying to get out of the box when what i should have been focusing on was how to make inside the box work better, back to basics, Iron my clothes at night set my alarm, read at least one article on politics and or the plight of Black folks. Take my lunch to work, save save and save more money. I used to speak things into existence, like I want that new drop top BMW. I want to take a trip to Cuba which I found out really isn't that expensive. The most important step that had me tripping was that communication is the key, I fell back into keeping it to myself mode an that can be very destructive for a person. Ive been caught up in trying to get myself out of trouble and not let anybody help, obviously I couldn't do it and alot of people are upset. Blame it on me being a man, blame of my stupidity and or stubbornness. I have spent a lot of time being my own psychologist and now I understand why they go to school for such matters. I used to have a great friend who decided for one reason or another that our friendship had taken a course that they deemed to much and once that decision was made I was effectively shut down with no explanation. I asked for the reason but got none. I was kinda mad at myself for letting someone get so close to me. I'm usually a good judge of character and can sniff out the importers, I keep my circle close, many acquaintances and associates but only few actual friends make it to my A-List, Its a rigorous process to be a honored member of the Scooter Monk Friends club, so imagine my surprise at the mental slip up on my end. I have to remember that everyone doesn't have my same mindset on the ways of the world. So know Im in a good space with good people, people who have my best interest at heart, people who tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear and for that I thank you all

Back to Business

Its been a minute since we have chatted, my creative juices have been frozen. Alot of my peeps have been on me to continue my rants and raves. Baltimore just had a crazy snowstorm that left everything but liquor stores shut down for about a week. Side streets are still done in. The only reason my street is clear is because the neighbors all chipped in and cleared the block. I love Baltimore because just like roaches we are gonna survive, the man at the store was selling food stamps, the dude down the block had a deal on frozen turkey wings, the lady two doors down always has some fresh bread straight off the truck. Most of my friends and family members are oh so quick to diss Baltimore, but to them I say "How you gonnna carry it?" we have our own culture/ language and style. Ive been in Baltimore for about 10 years and can honestly say I Love It here. Ive been to several other cities from Tuskegee, Alabama to Rio de Jenario, Brazil and can say, B-More baby. I LOVE IT.

Ill never ever tell anybody anything you say!

I have or should I say had a true blue confidant, I mean I could tell this person anything and I just knew It would ever get out. I used to love going to my confidants house with a six pack of Corona's and a whole bunch of things to get off my chest. I knew I would get an honest opinion, not the one I always wanted to hear but probably the one that was sincere and from the heart. The more I opened up to my confidant, the more relaxed I felt that I could really get deep things off my chest. My confidant was like my lawyer, I could tell them anything and it was good. Well Imagine my surprise when a mutual fried pulled my card about something I had only told my confidant? I was floored? This couldn't be? Someone I had put complete trust and faith in over the years could throw me under the bus? The killer part about the whole thing is the information shared was so trivial and more like and inside joke. The mutual friend is upset but willing to forgive (maybe) and I'm left with a ex confidant. Well I guess its back to me being a secret squirrel. The sessions will be missed and my trust level for anyone else being a confidant is pretty much at zero. I guess if I ever decided to have a confidant again, I would make sure they don't know anybody that I associate with, maybe like an old lady in Saskatchewan or on the boot in Italy.

I hate to pull the race card...

So this time I wasn't even surprised to find out that this guy was a black man, it seems like this is becoming more common with black men, My first reaction was like "see" this is why we need affordable health care for everyone because clearly this guy it mentally disturbed, then my second reaction was how can 11 black women be missing and no one cares? This is where I pull the race card. I feel like if these were white women then the whole world would stop until they were found. Not sure of all the details but It seems to me that most of these people have been missing for a long while. I myself am a grown man but if I didn't speak to my mother at least every third day, im sure the police would be at my door investigating my abduction. My concern is that we never ever heard of any of the women as missing? It is a sad state of affairs when all these women can go missing and that's not even the main story. My heart goes out to the families of these women. The race card is still out there.How can anybody attempt to even form their lips to say that this is a fair and just land when things are so different for whites and people of color.