Be Carefull What You Ask For

It seems like just yesterday I was changing diapers and warming up bottles, I clearly remember his first pair of Jordan's or those slick Baby Gap outfits and the stroller with the 4X4 wheels that had shock absorbers, I remember the late night trips to 7-11 for a bottle of formula or maybe Orajel for the teething, then I remember the first day of school walking this cat to class and him looking at me like "Dude are you really gonna leave me here with these strangers?" I remember the first wrestling, football, baseball practices and all the games, its almost like a dream. The other day when I woke in the middle of the night, I heard this strange voice coming form my son's room, not the usual pip-squeak voice I have known forever, but this baritone Barry White type with a He-Man laugh, I jumped up and ran into my sons room with the biscuit (sorry mom I live in a very urban city). Imagine my surprise that it was little Mr. Baby Gap himself listening to the Quiet Storm and on the phone? I went back to bed scratching my head. I have been there for every aspect of this kids life and didn't even realize what I was witnessing, luckily I have an obsession with camera's so I went back to all the old photo albums and the pictures pretty much told the story. I spent so much time worrying and molding and scolding and preaching and praying that I never stopped to look at the finished product, I mean at 13 the product isn't finished but the foundation is there. My Little man is a teenager now with his own personality and attitude, He catches the bus to school and hangs at the mall with his buddies, he actually brushes his hair and teeth without me having to remind him, he does homework and gets good grades. The reality of it is that he will be gone in less than 5 years, living his life and being a productive member of society, In 10 years, he will be a Tuskegee University graduate ( I mean is there any other school that can compare?)with a good job and possibly a family. As a parent of a teenager, all I can advise is that you take the time to enjoy the little things and take plenty of pictures. The reality of the situation is that my son is growing into a fine young man and hopefully all my tutelage has paid off. Im sure I still have plenty of work still to do but soon all Ill be able to do is advise him.

Let that Ish go!

If you hold on to grudes for over one year, it eats at your soul. Im being very generous with the one year rule because I suffer some this very disorder. I have a friend who told me if your girlfriend breaks up with you, you will be depressed for one month per as many years as you all went together, so for example if you went together for two years, it would talk 24 monthes for you to be completly over her. I have another friend who's father was an asshole all her life and she still feels the effects of the abuse and neglect. My advise to her is LET THAT SHIT GO! Im sure its been a hard road to travel and Im sure it left many scars, but at the same time how do you get the ultimate payback? As my mother would always say "Never let then see you sweat." I think you need to let it go because as your soul gets weaker you dont have the energy to put towards positive things. If its something that eating at your soul speak on it. Get some therapy, grab a drink at the bar and vent to a friend. Do whatever you need to get it off your chest. Life is too short for you to be harping on old ish! This blog is actually dedicated to specific people who I know read it.

Cellar Dwellers

The Audi is 5000 G. I loved that car but 4 stack's to get her fixed was a bit much. I convinced myself that cathing public transportation to work would do me good, It would humble me and I could really be with the people. On Monday morning I got up extra early to prepare for my journey. I walked to Park Heights Ave to wait for the 54 bus which takes me to the Mondawmin metro station. As I waited for the bus I realized what the Audi really meant to me, People were driving by looking at us poor souls waiting and when eye contact was made they looked away as if they felt bad. I wonder if I ever did that in that? Finally the bus was in sight and we all started to line up. As the bus got closer all I could think about was how warm it was going to be, well apparently when the bus is overcrowded, the driver can keep right on rolling. I was hurt, dejected and most of all cold. The other people just took it in stride without so much as a sigh, pulled half smoked cigs out of coat pockets and drifted off into standing at the bus-stop oblivion. Thirty minutes later the next 54 rolls up and this time im praying to the bus gods to please have room for us and luckily my prayers were answered. I found myself migrating to the back of the bus without a thought of Rosa Parks or bus boycotts, just an empty seat next to Ned the Wino. All I want to do is get to my destination but that stupid bell keeps ringing and the bus has to stop on every block to let people on and off. I tell myself to remain humble as a Grey Audi A4 Quattro zooms by like it was glidding on ice and hover-crafts into the fast lane and shifts into warp speed and dissappears out of sight with such style and grace. I wonder to myself if I used to look like that?

KEEPIN IT FAKE

One of the hardest things Ive had to do (besides stats)is keeping it real. When I say that, people look at me like.. you fake ass, but when you really stop and think about it, maybe you will get my point. If you go to work everyday and smile in your boss' face when you know you cant stand that MOFO are you keeping it real, Nope, your keeping it fake in order to keep your job, but I guess when thats the case its acceptable. When the wifey puts you on blast in front of company but you chill and keep you cool and dont say anything, is that a case of keeping it real...Nope, another case of keeping it fake to keep your relationship in tact. When your in the studio and one member of the crews lyrics suck and you tell him they suck, then that my friends is keeping it real.