Lead Paint Diss

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2011-04-05/health/bs-md-lead-paint-mayor-20110404_1_housing-authority-paul-t-graziano-public-housing/2

Old Dirty Bastard put it best, Wu-Tang is for the kids. I guess our Mayor wasn't an ODB fan. From how I see it, its not the kids fault they got lead paint poisoning, Im not even sure you could do my favorite thing and put all the blame on the parents. The courts even felt that Baltimore City was at fault and awarded people money. The city has money to pay city workers who gamble on the clock, they pay convicted felons who are still in jail, they have money for a Grand Prix race and you cant pay the kids? As much as my water bill is, that is at least paying for three or four families easy not the mention my BG&E bill. Dont they realize that Baltimore is a predominately black city and maybe just maybe some of these kids you are turning your back on are our future leaders. I'm willing to bet there are some future Ben Carson's and Kwesi Mfume's out there. Most of the kids in this situation are already starting out at the bottom of the ninth with two strikes and two outs. I'm not politician but it seems like I would find some way to invest in our children. As my son would say....IJS

What is your Love Language

This question was posed to me the other day and I thought I knew the answer but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I was clueless. One of my hardest task is being truthful with myself about myself. The way I love is balls to the wall ( no pun intended), I love like I drink beer, in excess. I have a very addictive nature so I need to be very careful with my movements. With all that being said I demand alot from others, its what you sign up for but at the same time Im willing to give it. I give myself a rate of 6.5, im passing but there is room for improvement. Most of my married friends tell me that their spouse is their confidant and best friend. One of the most important lessons I've had to learn is not to be so selfish, everything is a compromise, the world dosent revolve around just me anymore. As a person who tends to be private about my personal affairs it becomes a problem when now I have to be honest and open with my soul mate, she deserves that right? Its all about building that foundation, one block at a time, My relationship now is a sum total of all my past relationships, I'm finally learning to accept responsibility for my faults and learn from them. Its taking some time but i finally think im getting the hang of it. A.J. is extremely lucky!

Murdermore, Harmcity, The city that Bleeds, Cherrykill.I could go on and on. Somebody is getting shot, stabbed or beat it seems like everyday here in Baltimore. I use to think we were getting a bad rap and the media only portrays the worst but now it seems like they are just doing their job. Bad ass babies grow up to be bad ass kids who grow up to be bad ass teenagers who grow up to be bad ass grown ups. Am I the only one who see's the need to break the cycle at the roots? The city is under financial stress but what city isnt,thats no excuse. Stop blaming the youth, they had to learn it from somewhere right? My man JO swears that behavior in ingrained from birth, we fight tooth and nail about this, I feel like behavior is learned from the people you surround yourself with. Who do the youth surround themselves with? Well in the very beginning its the parents right? Where do they learn that its cool to buck authority? Where do they learn its cool to beat the system. Im sure there are many valid reasons why us grown ups think this but we have to break the cycle somewhere right?

My life my life

The year is over and most of my surroundings have changed. Ma Dukes always told me change is good and what dosent kill you makes you stronger and blah blah blah. The boy is officially in HS and that is a whole "nutha" blog. My living situation has changed and has the potential to change again. I have learned to minimize the things I cant control and not let them stress me. Ive learned to remember the things that didnt work for me in the past and try not to repeat them. Ive learned that every plans, plan needs a back up plan. Ive also learned to buy a case of beer instead of 6 packs, fill your gas tank up instead of 5 dollars here, 10 dollars there, in some cases .50 on pump 1. The theme for this year is to save money, I have plenty of snowboarding to do this winter and a trip to Barbados this summer. Balancing finances is similar to putting a puzzle together, its super hard at first but once you get the base down it becomes easier and easier, to not live paycheck to paycheck is the ultimate goal. I have several people in my corner to guide and assist in this department. (thanks guys). Ive surrounded myself with a crew of smart progressive inspiring, motivating goal oriented people. It might sound a bit planned and calculated but somehow it seemed to work out like that to my benefit. My worst fear for the future is to be broke. In order for that not to happen I have to move in slow calculated methodical movements. Are you guys ready for the new improved 2011 Scootermonk?

So once again here I am keyboard in my hand speaking to my people, things have been mad hectic in the life and times of Scootermonk, the world is changing so ima let it change and just ride the wave and see where I end up. The most high has been guiding me in the right direction. A mustard seed of faith is all you need right? Be careful on that edge before you fall. Its seems like I can't please err'body and vice versa. The things I need to work on are the same things that are being done to me. I am the biggest believer in karma so I try to live my life accordingly, it dosent always work out but its what my mouth says. Ive been able to see how living right has its advantages because I give with my heart and I give with soul, some people might not see it but thats what I strive to do. My intentions are always golden even if the resuls arent. My life isnt an illusion, The times are only in my mind. No matter how hard I try to be (no pun) Im a hopeless romamtic (arent we all?)But when the Spidey sense starts tingling and and things dont seem right, I have questions and those questions need answers. I have high dreams and aspirations dont you? I often shoot for the high heavens and only reach the nets at the bottom of the rim but hey, call me Jumping Jack Ass. I have often been told I have a twisted sence, cents, since of reality but it seems to work for me.

Its Tha Same As It Ever Was

YO - Its been A long time I shouldn't have left you, without an ill blog to read to. Due to overwhelming response from my ever-loving fans....It feels good to be back. Lets start with the reasons for the hiatus. Changed jobs, addresses and friends. I spent so much time trying to get out of the box when what i should have been focusing on was how to make inside the box work better, back to basics, Iron my clothes at night set my alarm, read at least one article on politics and or the plight of Black folks. Take my lunch to work, save save and save more money. I used to speak things into existence, like I want that new drop top BMW. I want to take a trip to Cuba which I found out really isn't that expensive. The most important step that had me tripping was that communication is the key, I fell back into keeping it to myself mode an that can be very destructive for a person. Ive been caught up in trying to get myself out of trouble and not let anybody help, obviously I couldn't do it and alot of people are upset. Blame it on me being a man, blame of my stupidity and or stubbornness. I have spent a lot of time being my own psychologist and now I understand why they go to school for such matters. I used to have a great friend who decided for one reason or another that our friendship had taken a course that they deemed to much and once that decision was made I was effectively shut down with no explanation. I asked for the reason but got none. I was kinda mad at myself for letting someone get so close to me. I'm usually a good judge of character and can sniff out the importers, I keep my circle close, many acquaintances and associates but only few actual friends make it to my A-List, Its a rigorous process to be a honored member of the Scooter Monk Friends club, so imagine my surprise at the mental slip up on my end. I have to remember that everyone doesn't have my same mindset on the ways of the world. So know Im in a good space with good people, people who have my best interest at heart, people who tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear and for that I thank you all

Back to Business

Its been a minute since we have chatted, my creative juices have been frozen. Alot of my peeps have been on me to continue my rants and raves. Baltimore just had a crazy snowstorm that left everything but liquor stores shut down for about a week. Side streets are still done in. The only reason my street is clear is because the neighbors all chipped in and cleared the block. I love Baltimore because just like roaches we are gonna survive, the man at the store was selling food stamps, the dude down the block had a deal on frozen turkey wings, the lady two doors down always has some fresh bread straight off the truck. Most of my friends and family members are oh so quick to diss Baltimore, but to them I say "How you gonnna carry it?" we have our own culture/ language and style. Ive been in Baltimore for about 10 years and can honestly say I Love It here. Ive been to several other cities from Tuskegee, Alabama to Rio de Jenario, Brazil and can say, B-More baby. I LOVE IT.

Ill never ever tell anybody anything you say!

I have or should I say had a true blue confidant, I mean I could tell this person anything and I just knew It would ever get out. I used to love going to my confidants house with a six pack of Corona's and a whole bunch of things to get off my chest. I knew I would get an honest opinion, not the one I always wanted to hear but probably the one that was sincere and from the heart. The more I opened up to my confidant, the more relaxed I felt that I could really get deep things off my chest. My confidant was like my lawyer, I could tell them anything and it was good. Well Imagine my surprise when a mutual fried pulled my card about something I had only told my confidant? I was floored? This couldn't be? Someone I had put complete trust and faith in over the years could throw me under the bus? The killer part about the whole thing is the information shared was so trivial and more like and inside joke. The mutual friend is upset but willing to forgive (maybe) and I'm left with a ex confidant. Well I guess its back to me being a secret squirrel. The sessions will be missed and my trust level for anyone else being a confidant is pretty much at zero. I guess if I ever decided to have a confidant again, I would make sure they don't know anybody that I associate with, maybe like an old lady in Saskatchewan or on the boot in Italy.

I hate to pull the race card...

So this time I wasn't even surprised to find out that this guy was a black man, it seems like this is becoming more common with black men, My first reaction was like "see" this is why we need affordable health care for everyone because clearly this guy it mentally disturbed, then my second reaction was how can 11 black women be missing and no one cares? This is where I pull the race card. I feel like if these were white women then the whole world would stop until they were found. Not sure of all the details but It seems to me that most of these people have been missing for a long while. I myself am a grown man but if I didn't speak to my mother at least every third day, im sure the police would be at my door investigating my abduction. My concern is that we never ever heard of any of the women as missing? It is a sad state of affairs when all these women can go missing and that's not even the main story. My heart goes out to the families of these women. The race card is still out there.How can anybody attempt to even form their lips to say that this is a fair and just land when things are so different for whites and people of color.

Be Carefull What You Ask For

It seems like just yesterday I was changing diapers and warming up bottles, I clearly remember his first pair of Jordan's or those slick Baby Gap outfits and the stroller with the 4X4 wheels that had shock absorbers, I remember the late night trips to 7-11 for a bottle of formula or maybe Orajel for the teething, then I remember the first day of school walking this cat to class and him looking at me like "Dude are you really gonna leave me here with these strangers?" I remember the first wrestling, football, baseball practices and all the games, its almost like a dream. The other day when I woke in the middle of the night, I heard this strange voice coming form my son's room, not the usual pip-squeak voice I have known forever, but this baritone Barry White type with a He-Man laugh, I jumped up and ran into my sons room with the biscuit (sorry mom I live in a very urban city). Imagine my surprise that it was little Mr. Baby Gap himself listening to the Quiet Storm and on the phone? I went back to bed scratching my head. I have been there for every aspect of this kids life and didn't even realize what I was witnessing, luckily I have an obsession with camera's so I went back to all the old photo albums and the pictures pretty much told the story. I spent so much time worrying and molding and scolding and preaching and praying that I never stopped to look at the finished product, I mean at 13 the product isn't finished but the foundation is there. My Little man is a teenager now with his own personality and attitude, He catches the bus to school and hangs at the mall with his buddies, he actually brushes his hair and teeth without me having to remind him, he does homework and gets good grades. The reality of it is that he will be gone in less than 5 years, living his life and being a productive member of society, In 10 years, he will be a Tuskegee University graduate ( I mean is there any other school that can compare?)with a good job and possibly a family. As a parent of a teenager, all I can advise is that you take the time to enjoy the little things and take plenty of pictures. The reality of the situation is that my son is growing into a fine young man and hopefully all my tutelage has paid off. Im sure I still have plenty of work still to do but soon all Ill be able to do is advise him.

Back to Reality

I just had a reunion from HS and it was great. Not that im going to keep in touch with all the people's who numbers I got or e-mail address, but it was fun to be a liitle tipsy and make the promises. Im sure facebook will be a great connector and Im a big fan. It was sobering to see most of my HS friends looking much older and to hear some of the stories and to imagine these crazy lunitics with kids. Its so funny how I cant remember to e-mail my boss with this spreadsheet thats due everyday much less where I left my keys, but when the stories started getting tossed around about who did this and who did that I remembered every little detail. I havent seen several of my fellow classmates since HS but it seems like we picked up right where we left off. Im wondering know why everybody came solo? Is it so that the innocent flirting wouldnt be taken the wrong way? Was it that maybe you might gaze into your ex's eyes and get that old feeling back? For me it was an excuse to slip away from the grown-up me with responsibilities, It was an excuse to be able to act like I used to act back in HS and not have to answer to anybody. I got a chance to stay up all night and re-live the good-old days without someone who cant realte and will probably be totally bored and negative, I got to wake up in the morning and drink a brew and not get the sideeye. I did the Kid N Play kickstep with my man Wesley while Anthony rapped on the MIC. Somebody challanged me to the duel and I had to break out the worm. A great time was had by all. As I was driving back to reality, I realized that Im only built for that type of weekend many once a year. I also realized how much Ive grown and how far Ive come. Reunions are great but my life is great now. I was glad to get back home and back to reality.

People arent JERKS on purpose

My mom always told me that people aren't jerks on purpose but I think Ive found one. This was supposed to be a vent session but the more I think about it and try to understand people, the more it intrigues me. My usual fail safe is to blame everything on low self esteem and parenting, then I learned a new word called Narcissism and it fits this dude like a glove. The type of dude that laughs at his own non-funny jokes and no one thinks he is funny, he gets those few fake chuckles for those few fake people, but are they really fake or just playing a bigger game? The more I think about why people are jerks the more I tend to think that they are reaching out or starving for attention, the attention they didn't get growing up or the attention they aren't getting now. You know the loud guy in the public place yelling into his cell phone about the wild night he had or guy who try's to talk at you instead of to you to make himself look big? Ive come to the realization that when you encounter a jerk , instead of responding to the jerk-ness (shutup) just remember that they are really screaming for attention and on the inside they are little frail individuals who lacked the love and support of loving individuals who care. Once you look at thier life then compare it to your own, you almost have to feel sorry for them. Its a good thing no Jerks read my Posts!

Serve, Protect and Break a N%%%%'s Neck

My first reaction to hearing about Prof. Henry Louis Gates being arrested by a white cop was WTF? How can people actually tell me racism doesn’t exist? Once I heard that dude was in his own house and showed ID, I thought to myself, they finally messed with the wrong man, I was happy that it happened to Proffesor gates because it’s been my experience that this happens on a regular basis but people aren’t educated enough or financially stable enough to deal with it. I have had countless encounters with racism in and outside of work. At work it seems almost impossible to battle a racist co-worker or boss when they are all pretty much the same and don’t have a clue to what it feels like to be on the receiving side of racism ,and the ones who maybe aren’t racist don’t even get it. I was happy because it seems like this is the one person who can rant ,rave ,fuss ,fight ,kick and scream for all of us that cant afford to or are afraid to. As a young man my mother always told me to be humble when the cops are involved because even if you’re right, you’re wrong and that most importantly, hot lead and my skin don’t mix. I was happy that it happened to him because who else is better equipped with the knowledge and research to battle such nonsense. My republican friend was saying that he should have just been humble and submissive to the cop who was just doing his job. I had to remind one-way Jose that ive seen him almost shut down a Wal-Mart over poor customer service (I even wrote about that) and how pissed would he be if a cop asked him for his ID in his own house. My second reaction was that maybe this wasn’t about race as it was about two hot-headed people not backing down, but that only lasted a hot second. How many a time has my mother told me to look beyond the surface at what’s really going on. I personally would want someone to call the cops if something looked suspicious around my house, but when I showed ID, you need to Billy Jean Beat it copper and if I am giving you some serious lip-service you still need to beat it because clearly you’re wrong at that point. The more I thought about this the madder I got. How many times do my white co-workers call me some other black person in the offices’ name? How many times do they ask me about the “wire” because I live in the city? How surprised was my boss when I pulled out the passport with several pages “tatted” up? Racial profiling is so alive and well that a lot of times people don’t even know its happening and whats so sad is that certain people don’t even get it. How can you call a black man a “banana-eating jungle monkey”! and then have the audacity to say your not racist. Well Im about to go home and drink a beer. CHEERS!

The streets are watching

Its been a long minute since I’ve been in the blog world. I would say that I had writers block, but you actually need to be a writer to have a block right? I only blog when the spirit hits me. I usually read other peoples stuff and it influences me. I need to be in a certain place to get going. A few things hit me this summer like MJ passing away. I ran right home to fire up the computer but then I realized that even though I know most of his songs word for word, I’m no authority on him, I didn’t have the jacket, glove or button. I never went to a MJ show so I decided to sit that one out. My stepmother passed away a few days after MJ and that had way more of an effect on me. My step mom and dad hooked up when I was six so she has been in the game for a minute. They have two kids who I consider to be my real-life sisters; I love them more than life. My relationship over the years with stepmother has been off and on. It probably has more to do with the fact that she was no real relationship to me so I could actually express how I felt whereas with my father, I had to pretty much swallow my pride. As I was thinking about how my father and sister must feel that they lost a mother and a wife, I started to think; damn I lost a stepmother, with the exception of my mother and father, who knew me better than her? Probably most of the times when people pass away all the bad things they did in life don’t seem so bad and all the mediocre things are magnified to greatness. Things they did that you didn’t understand at the time all seem to make sense now. Now that I’m thinking about it, my stepmother was my outlet, I would only see her on the weekends and she would most of the time give me the clearance for anything I wanted. I was the first kid on the block to drive before the age of 16. I usually had the most money on our little trips to the corner store. When my father was mad at me she would usually calm him down and within the hour I was out of trouble, all these things I took for granite. Most of the time when people are alive we don’t appreciate them like we should. I miss my stepmother, not because she isn’t here anymore but because I didn’t appreciate her to the fullest when she was here. I miss MJ for the same reasons, I never ever in a million years thought either one of them would die and the thought never crossed my mind. OK that’s it for know as I get back into the swing of things. Thanks Lisa B for inspiring me to get back in the game.

Let that Ish go!

If you hold on to grudes for over one year, it eats at your soul. Im being very generous with the one year rule because I suffer some this very disorder. I have a friend who told me if your girlfriend breaks up with you, you will be depressed for one month per as many years as you all went together, so for example if you went together for two years, it would talk 24 monthes for you to be completly over her. I have another friend who's father was an asshole all her life and she still feels the effects of the abuse and neglect. My advise to her is LET THAT SHIT GO! Im sure its been a hard road to travel and Im sure it left many scars, but at the same time how do you get the ultimate payback? As my mother would always say "Never let then see you sweat." I think you need to let it go because as your soul gets weaker you dont have the energy to put towards positive things. If its something that eating at your soul speak on it. Get some therapy, grab a drink at the bar and vent to a friend. Do whatever you need to get it off your chest. Life is too short for you to be harping on old ish! This blog is actually dedicated to specific people who I know read it.