I hate to pull the race card...

So this time I wasn't even surprised to find out that this guy was a black man, it seems like this is becoming more common with black men, My first reaction was like "see" this is why we need affordable health care for everyone because clearly this guy it mentally disturbed, then my second reaction was how can 11 black women be missing and no one cares? This is where I pull the race card. I feel like if these were white women then the whole world would stop until they were found. Not sure of all the details but It seems to me that most of these people have been missing for a long while. I myself am a grown man but if I didn't speak to my mother at least every third day, im sure the police would be at my door investigating my abduction. My concern is that we never ever heard of any of the women as missing? It is a sad state of affairs when all these women can go missing and that's not even the main story. My heart goes out to the families of these women. The race card is still out there.How can anybody attempt to even form their lips to say that this is a fair and just land when things are so different for whites and people of color.

Be Carefull What You Ask For

It seems like just yesterday I was changing diapers and warming up bottles, I clearly remember his first pair of Jordan's or those slick Baby Gap outfits and the stroller with the 4X4 wheels that had shock absorbers, I remember the late night trips to 7-11 for a bottle of formula or maybe Orajel for the teething, then I remember the first day of school walking this cat to class and him looking at me like "Dude are you really gonna leave me here with these strangers?" I remember the first wrestling, football, baseball practices and all the games, its almost like a dream. The other day when I woke in the middle of the night, I heard this strange voice coming form my son's room, not the usual pip-squeak voice I have known forever, but this baritone Barry White type with a He-Man laugh, I jumped up and ran into my sons room with the biscuit (sorry mom I live in a very urban city). Imagine my surprise that it was little Mr. Baby Gap himself listening to the Quiet Storm and on the phone? I went back to bed scratching my head. I have been there for every aspect of this kids life and didn't even realize what I was witnessing, luckily I have an obsession with camera's so I went back to all the old photo albums and the pictures pretty much told the story. I spent so much time worrying and molding and scolding and preaching and praying that I never stopped to look at the finished product, I mean at 13 the product isn't finished but the foundation is there. My Little man is a teenager now with his own personality and attitude, He catches the bus to school and hangs at the mall with his buddies, he actually brushes his hair and teeth without me having to remind him, he does homework and gets good grades. The reality of it is that he will be gone in less than 5 years, living his life and being a productive member of society, In 10 years, he will be a Tuskegee University graduate ( I mean is there any other school that can compare?)with a good job and possibly a family. As a parent of a teenager, all I can advise is that you take the time to enjoy the little things and take plenty of pictures. The reality of the situation is that my son is growing into a fine young man and hopefully all my tutelage has paid off. Im sure I still have plenty of work still to do but soon all Ill be able to do is advise him.

Back to Reality

I just had a reunion from HS and it was great. Not that im going to keep in touch with all the people's who numbers I got or e-mail address, but it was fun to be a liitle tipsy and make the promises. Im sure facebook will be a great connector and Im a big fan. It was sobering to see most of my HS friends looking much older and to hear some of the stories and to imagine these crazy lunitics with kids. Its so funny how I cant remember to e-mail my boss with this spreadsheet thats due everyday much less where I left my keys, but when the stories started getting tossed around about who did this and who did that I remembered every little detail. I havent seen several of my fellow classmates since HS but it seems like we picked up right where we left off. Im wondering know why everybody came solo? Is it so that the innocent flirting wouldnt be taken the wrong way? Was it that maybe you might gaze into your ex's eyes and get that old feeling back? For me it was an excuse to slip away from the grown-up me with responsibilities, It was an excuse to be able to act like I used to act back in HS and not have to answer to anybody. I got a chance to stay up all night and re-live the good-old days without someone who cant realte and will probably be totally bored and negative, I got to wake up in the morning and drink a brew and not get the sideeye. I did the Kid N Play kickstep with my man Wesley while Anthony rapped on the MIC. Somebody challanged me to the duel and I had to break out the worm. A great time was had by all. As I was driving back to reality, I realized that Im only built for that type of weekend many once a year. I also realized how much Ive grown and how far Ive come. Reunions are great but my life is great now. I was glad to get back home and back to reality.

People arent JERKS on purpose

My mom always told me that people aren't jerks on purpose but I think Ive found one. This was supposed to be a vent session but the more I think about it and try to understand people, the more it intrigues me. My usual fail safe is to blame everything on low self esteem and parenting, then I learned a new word called Narcissism and it fits this dude like a glove. The type of dude that laughs at his own non-funny jokes and no one thinks he is funny, he gets those few fake chuckles for those few fake people, but are they really fake or just playing a bigger game? The more I think about why people are jerks the more I tend to think that they are reaching out or starving for attention, the attention they didn't get growing up or the attention they aren't getting now. You know the loud guy in the public place yelling into his cell phone about the wild night he had or guy who try's to talk at you instead of to you to make himself look big? Ive come to the realization that when you encounter a jerk , instead of responding to the jerk-ness (shutup) just remember that they are really screaming for attention and on the inside they are little frail individuals who lacked the love and support of loving individuals who care. Once you look at thier life then compare it to your own, you almost have to feel sorry for them. Its a good thing no Jerks read my Posts!

Serve, Protect and Break a N%%%%'s Neck

My first reaction to hearing about Prof. Henry Louis Gates being arrested by a white cop was WTF? How can people actually tell me racism doesn’t exist? Once I heard that dude was in his own house and showed ID, I thought to myself, they finally messed with the wrong man, I was happy that it happened to Proffesor gates because it’s been my experience that this happens on a regular basis but people aren’t educated enough or financially stable enough to deal with it. I have had countless encounters with racism in and outside of work. At work it seems almost impossible to battle a racist co-worker or boss when they are all pretty much the same and don’t have a clue to what it feels like to be on the receiving side of racism ,and the ones who maybe aren’t racist don’t even get it. I was happy because it seems like this is the one person who can rant ,rave ,fuss ,fight ,kick and scream for all of us that cant afford to or are afraid to. As a young man my mother always told me to be humble when the cops are involved because even if you’re right, you’re wrong and that most importantly, hot lead and my skin don’t mix. I was happy that it happened to him because who else is better equipped with the knowledge and research to battle such nonsense. My republican friend was saying that he should have just been humble and submissive to the cop who was just doing his job. I had to remind one-way Jose that ive seen him almost shut down a Wal-Mart over poor customer service (I even wrote about that) and how pissed would he be if a cop asked him for his ID in his own house. My second reaction was that maybe this wasn’t about race as it was about two hot-headed people not backing down, but that only lasted a hot second. How many a time has my mother told me to look beyond the surface at what’s really going on. I personally would want someone to call the cops if something looked suspicious around my house, but when I showed ID, you need to Billy Jean Beat it copper and if I am giving you some serious lip-service you still need to beat it because clearly you’re wrong at that point. The more I thought about this the madder I got. How many times do my white co-workers call me some other black person in the offices’ name? How many times do they ask me about the “wire” because I live in the city? How surprised was my boss when I pulled out the passport with several pages “tatted” up? Racial profiling is so alive and well that a lot of times people don’t even know its happening and whats so sad is that certain people don’t even get it. How can you call a black man a “banana-eating jungle monkey”! and then have the audacity to say your not racist. Well Im about to go home and drink a beer. CHEERS!

The streets are watching

Its been a long minute since I’ve been in the blog world. I would say that I had writers block, but you actually need to be a writer to have a block right? I only blog when the spirit hits me. I usually read other peoples stuff and it influences me. I need to be in a certain place to get going. A few things hit me this summer like MJ passing away. I ran right home to fire up the computer but then I realized that even though I know most of his songs word for word, I’m no authority on him, I didn’t have the jacket, glove or button. I never went to a MJ show so I decided to sit that one out. My stepmother passed away a few days after MJ and that had way more of an effect on me. My step mom and dad hooked up when I was six so she has been in the game for a minute. They have two kids who I consider to be my real-life sisters; I love them more than life. My relationship over the years with stepmother has been off and on. It probably has more to do with the fact that she was no real relationship to me so I could actually express how I felt whereas with my father, I had to pretty much swallow my pride. As I was thinking about how my father and sister must feel that they lost a mother and a wife, I started to think; damn I lost a stepmother, with the exception of my mother and father, who knew me better than her? Probably most of the times when people pass away all the bad things they did in life don’t seem so bad and all the mediocre things are magnified to greatness. Things they did that you didn’t understand at the time all seem to make sense now. Now that I’m thinking about it, my stepmother was my outlet, I would only see her on the weekends and she would most of the time give me the clearance for anything I wanted. I was the first kid on the block to drive before the age of 16. I usually had the most money on our little trips to the corner store. When my father was mad at me she would usually calm him down and within the hour I was out of trouble, all these things I took for granite. Most of the time when people are alive we don’t appreciate them like we should. I miss my stepmother, not because she isn’t here anymore but because I didn’t appreciate her to the fullest when she was here. I miss MJ for the same reasons, I never ever in a million years thought either one of them would die and the thought never crossed my mind. OK that’s it for know as I get back into the swing of things. Thanks Lisa B for inspiring me to get back in the game.

Let that Ish go!

If you hold on to grudes for over one year, it eats at your soul. Im being very generous with the one year rule because I suffer some this very disorder. I have a friend who told me if your girlfriend breaks up with you, you will be depressed for one month per as many years as you all went together, so for example if you went together for two years, it would talk 24 monthes for you to be completly over her. I have another friend who's father was an asshole all her life and she still feels the effects of the abuse and neglect. My advise to her is LET THAT SHIT GO! Im sure its been a hard road to travel and Im sure it left many scars, but at the same time how do you get the ultimate payback? As my mother would always say "Never let then see you sweat." I think you need to let it go because as your soul gets weaker you dont have the energy to put towards positive things. If its something that eating at your soul speak on it. Get some therapy, grab a drink at the bar and vent to a friend. Do whatever you need to get it off your chest. Life is too short for you to be harping on old ish! This blog is actually dedicated to specific people who I know read it.

Indicted!!

So What! I looked up the definition of the word indicment. My take was that it means we are formally charging you with what we already charged you with? OK, my son didnt clean his room and I scolded him, but to write in an official capacity that he didnt clean his room room would be to indict him? So basically it dosent mean anything. You are not being charged with the crime, your just being accused. Somebody please correct me if im wrong. My boss is an asshole and everybody knows it so if I put it in writing and hand it to him. He's Indicted? My boy always says he got me for drinks at the bar but I know he dosent so next Im going to indict him on bullshittery? Maybe Im tripping.

Cellar Dwellers

The Audi is 5000 G. I loved that car but 4 stack's to get her fixed was a bit much. I convinced myself that cathing public transportation to work would do me good, It would humble me and I could really be with the people. On Monday morning I got up extra early to prepare for my journey. I walked to Park Heights Ave to wait for the 54 bus which takes me to the Mondawmin metro station. As I waited for the bus I realized what the Audi really meant to me, People were driving by looking at us poor souls waiting and when eye contact was made they looked away as if they felt bad. I wonder if I ever did that in that? Finally the bus was in sight and we all started to line up. As the bus got closer all I could think about was how warm it was going to be, well apparently when the bus is overcrowded, the driver can keep right on rolling. I was hurt, dejected and most of all cold. The other people just took it in stride without so much as a sigh, pulled half smoked cigs out of coat pockets and drifted off into standing at the bus-stop oblivion. Thirty minutes later the next 54 rolls up and this time im praying to the bus gods to please have room for us and luckily my prayers were answered. I found myself migrating to the back of the bus without a thought of Rosa Parks or bus boycotts, just an empty seat next to Ned the Wino. All I want to do is get to my destination but that stupid bell keeps ringing and the bus has to stop on every block to let people on and off. I tell myself to remain humble as a Grey Audi A4 Quattro zooms by like it was glidding on ice and hover-crafts into the fast lane and shifts into warp speed and dissappears out of sight with such style and grace. I wonder to myself if I used to look like that?

ScooterMonk is a chilling

I have a good friend who is always telling me that the non-chalantness is going to be my downfall, but then I have another friend who worries about every little detail in life and he tells me that he would kill for my dont worry about it atitude. When faced with a problem, I tend to always look at the bright side of it. The whip broke down on the highway two days before christmas and I was like, new whip for christmas and plus catching the bus keeps me humble. Anytime I think things are going south, I look at the show called intervention or the first 48, then Im like my life is all gravy baby.

2009 Holla Atcha Boy

Its been a long while since Ive been on the scene and I dont really have an excuse. The boy is now a teenager and its all I can do to keep up with him and make sure he is on point. The JOB just kicked into high gear and people actually look to me for direction. Last year was a growing learning manning up keeping it real year for me. I learned that no one really wants to hear BS excuses. I learned that your kids are sponges, so when you ask yourself why are they acting how they act, remember that probably got that shit from you. I know realize that the term "managing your finances" is not just a phrase but a way of life. I realize that people arent assholes on purpose, they just dont know any better. Old School Hip-Hop gets better with time but there is way more music out there than hip-hop? Who knew? If there is anybody I pissed off in 2008, MY BAD. Lets gets some drinks and make it cool.

Baltimore...Really?

So I had a oppurtunity to go the Ledgends Of Hip-Hop show at the Hippodrome a few weeks ago and I was pumped, The line up included KRS-One and Slick Rick which by the way is enough for me! As the date got closer I kept hearing about more MC's getting adding like Sweet-Tee, Kool M Dee, Whodini, The Trecherous Three, MC Lyte and more. I searched high and low for the exact line up just to prove my point even more but no luck. The whole week leading up to the show I was getting more amped, I was trying to get my people to go but my cheapskate friends were crying about the price. ( Not you Aub) Yeah I know we are in a recession and gas is high and blah-blah-blah but this is a show most of you so-called hip-hop heads should be selling your souls to see, I mean these are the pioneers right? These were the first to ever do it right? Since your so down and know ever word to La-di-da-dee and The Bridge Is Over, hell,these are some of the guys who influenced those guys. I had an old hisotry professor who said , if you dont know the history of your author, you dont know what you have read. He also said all social problems are economic and all economic problems are political and all political problems are presupposed by the military means, but thats clearly another blog. Getting back to my original issue, the show was cancelled because the promoter sold less than 300 tickets! Baltimore. Really? Baltimore MC's get the top award for crying about how come they dont get any recognition outside of Baltimore. HELLO! We only had a chance to hear some real hip-hop and also pay our respects but it seems like only 300 of us even care about the old school. So now we have to ask ourselves are we really hip-hop. I was even excited to go to the Red and Meth show at the Sonar on a Sunday night with Keith Murray opening....cancelled. My grandmother use to always say baby, dont look a gift horse in the mouth. Its seems as though we had two horses with gifts and not only did we look them in the mouth, we kicked them in the ass. Baltimore...Really?

OK - After a long week of BS, this was a great weekend, Aub, A.P. and Abdul came to the city this weekend. We went to the Fells Point Festival and had a ball. We pre-gamed at Rob's house then it was on. The weather was nice and the brew was flowing. Good times were had by all. This got me to thinking why can't people be happy or strive to be happy all the time, I mean If all I do and all you do is try to be happy then why cant it work, I feel like if people put half as much energy into being positive and looking toward the light then life would be much better. OK maybe im tripping but its still wishfull thinking. Peace to my man Abdul for being the voice of reason this weekend and leaving us with great what could have been stories.

I can see clearly now.

WOW – First of all I would like to apologize to all 718 people who have been reading my rants and raves. I didn’t realize. I love to write or vent about the things that really piss me off or “get my goat”, “Grind my gears” or whatever. Only a few responded directly to the post so I figured it was only a few like minded souls. Lately I’ve really turned into this guy who has been trying to keep it real with himself and let me tell you, its way harder than I thought, So know that I am holding myself to a higher standard , I can only demand that from the people in my life right? So here we go, I expect to lose a few of you as friends but hopefully you guys will accept me for the person im morphing into. I don’t have time for the BS. I have too many other things to worry about than your BS, please shoot straight with me. Ill give people a few chances because I was probably the king of all BS’ers and we somehow made it through right? Maybe it’s me turning into a grumpy old man? It’s almost like I can see right through people and before where I didn’t give an EFF, now im looking at it like disrespect, like why would you even form your lips to say that like im stupid. One of my biggest problems is always trying to please everybody make sure the people are happy even if it puts me in a bind but I don’t always get that back in return. Im still gonna take the path of least resistance but how we deal with each other is gonna be different.

NO MORE EXCUSES

This blog is dedicated to all the people in my life that live by excuses and can never take responsibility for ISH!! I would cut off my left arm if you would just say....hey man, I messed up!! My Bad.

The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. ~Jules Renard

Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. ~Don Wilder and Bill Rechin

Don't make excuses - make good. ~Elbert Hubbard

He who excuses himself accuses himself. ~Gabriel Meurier, Trésor des sentences

Several excuses are always less convincing than one. ~Aldous Huxley, Point Counter Point

How strange to use "You only live once" as an excuse to throw it away. ~Bill Copeland

Don't do what you'll have to find an excuse for. ~Proverb

No one ever excused his way to success. ~Dave Del Dotto

Excuses are the tools with which persons with no purpose in view build for themselves great monuments of nothing. ~Steven Grayhm

And oftentimes excusing of a fault
Doth make the fault the worse by the excuse.
~William Shakespeare

Bad excuses are worse than none. ~Thomas Fuller

A lie is an excuse guarded. ~Jonathan Swift

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. ~Henry Ward Beecher

If you don't want to do something, one excuse is as good as another. ~Yiddish Proverb

Whoever wants to be a judge of human nature should study people's excuses. ~Hebbel

We have more ability than will power, and it is often an excuse to ourselves that we imagine that things are impossible. ~François de la Rochefoucauld

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. ~Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin

Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts. ~Edward R. Murrow

Pessimism is an excuse for not trying and a guarantee to a personal failure. ~Bill Clinton

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. ~Ambrose Bierce

Every vice has its excuse ready. ~Publilius Syrus

We are all manufacturers - some make good, others make trouble, and still others make excuses. ~Author Unknown

One of the most important tasks of a manager is to eliminate his people's excuses for failure. ~Robert Townsend

Bad men excuse their faults; good men abandon them. ~Author Unknown

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. ~Benjamin Franklin

It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people, to focus your energies on answers - not excuses. ~William Arthur Ward

Any excuse will serve a tyrant. ~Aesop

We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse. ~Rudyard Kipling

The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other person finds an excuse. ~Author Unknown

Justifying a fault doubles it. ~French Proverb

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins. ~Bob Moawad

The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse. ~Benjamin Franklin

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things. ~Russell Baker

Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse. ~Jimmy Fallon

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. ~Kimberly Johnson